We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
ttyl tear gas
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
