You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
