WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
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don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
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Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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