didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize