I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
