I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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