wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
