So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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