I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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