it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
