you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
