VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
hell yes lets make some ravioli
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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