Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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