At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
