PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
