WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
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