i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My dad is sitting where you rode me
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
