put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
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