Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
