her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
