Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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