The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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