im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
