My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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