we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
