sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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