i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
