He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
