Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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