hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
