is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
