that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
