Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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