you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
