I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
