Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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