i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
