He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
