I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
What a dumb baby whore.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize