theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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