Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
I was spiderman.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!