I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
