Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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