After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you didnt know i had herpes?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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