Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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