Christians are straight up FREAKS
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
