My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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