I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
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My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
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Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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