is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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