You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
