Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize