i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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