you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
