if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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