I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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