I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize