also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize