I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
