Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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