I am in a vortex of obligation.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
