Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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