yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
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My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
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In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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